It’s Not Happiness We’re Missing. It’s Something Wilder.

Almost every client says some version of the same sentence in our first session:

“I don’t know why I’m not happy. I should be happy. I just want to feel happy, dammit.”

And listen. I get it. We’ve been conditioned to treat happiness like the North Star of Being a Good Adult Human.

But here’s the curveball:

Lack of happiness isn’t the actual problem. It’s not even close.

The thing people are really starving for is much simpler: life force.

That pulse of “I’m so glad I get to be alive right now.”

And the wild thing? Life force can exist alongside any emotion. Joy, sadness, boredom, exhaustion, rage, tenderness—pick one. You can feel any of them and still feel intensely, beautifully alive.

Most people aren’t unhappy. They’re just… unlit.

A Beautiful Problem to Have

And honestly? This is a gorgeous problem to solve.

It’s not “Why can’t I be happy?”

It’s “Where did my desire to be fully alive wander off to, and how do I call it back?”

That question feels like an invitation. A golden envelope. A threshold moment.

And I was reminded of this in the most sacred of places: the grocery store checkout line.

The Grocery Store, My Happy Place

A few weeks ago I was standing behind the tallest man with long wavy hair in that effortless half-up, half-down situation, a deep tan, and eyebrows so perfectly curated they could have had their own Instagram account. (He was the tallest person in the store. I was the shortest. Naturally.)

And right there on his chest was the snake symbol from The NeverEnding Story.

I must have watched that movie a hundred times growing up—reading books under blankets like Bastian, daydreaming about hiding in the attic to escape into whole other worlds.

And before my brain could catch up, I blurted out:

“OHHH MY GOD, that’s from The NeverEnding Story! I love it so much!”

He absolutely lit up. We shared this tiny, sparkling moment of recognition—two former children who wore out the rewind button.

My partner was paying for our groceries, watching me and this stranger get all animated in the checkout line. When I told him “The NeverEnding Story,” he just nodded. He understood immediately—because he knows how much this movie means to me.

And I remembered something:

In the movie, Bastian receives an epic assignment: choose a new name for the Childlike Empress. Recreate the world. Breathe life back into everything.

Your Invitation

This is what it feels like when you realize you’re not unhappy—you’re under-energized.

It’s the universe handing you your own shimmering invitation to rename your life. To call back your life force. To remember what it feels like to want to live, not just manage life.

What an outrageously beautiful thing to get to rediscover.

So maybe the question isn’t “How do I get happier?”

Maybe it’s: What is one thing I can do today as a celebration of being alive?

Because that’s where the magic starts.

And if you’re reading this thinking, “I honestly have no idea how to answer that question”—start here:

What’s one thing you used to love doing as a kid, before you had to be productive or useful or impressive?

Maybe it was drawing. Or climbing trees. Or making up songs. Or organizing your collection of something weird. Maybe it was waiting all day to hear a song on the radio so you could complete the most perfect mixtape that ever existed.

Or maybe something has been calling your curiosity—nail art, baking, setting a yacht-worthy dinner table...

Do that thing. Even for five minutes.

You’re not looking for the perfect answer. You’re looking for a tiny flicker of aliveness. And then you follow it.

Change is an action-based affair.

You cannot make a change by ruminating in your mind or trying to figure out where the path leads.

We get to be here in this moment right now, together. Isn’t that something?

Now go celebrate being alive.